Saturday, 22 October 2016

Interview with a Mummy - Irish Twins #7

Name: Nyssa
How old are you? 27
Where are you from? New South Wales, Australia
How many children do you have? 4 (2 step children)
How old are your children? 9, 7, 28 months and 18 months
What are their genders? Boy, Girl, Girl, Girl

IRISH TWINS

1.Was this planned or did it come as a shock? 
Having had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) for many years I consulted with an endocrinologist and fertility specialist about 5 years ago. I was severely obese and although single at the time my chances of conceiving children were very slim given my obesity and my pcos. I was recommended lap banding surgery and decided to take the leap about 4.5 years ago! I met my now husband not long after and although I lost some 60kgs (120lbs?) in 12 months when we decided to try for kids it was really still much an anxious time. We fell so easy with IT1 (Cailin) it was amazing. Having the gift of Cailin I never thought about any more. When finding out that we were expecting again when I was already 13 weeks I was shocked to say the least! Going from having fertility issues to having IT's was something I never thought I'd have to think about

2. How was your pregnancy? Did you have any complications in either pregnancy? 
Both of my pregnancies were extremely smooth sailing medically. From the second trimester of IT2 I had to contend with my father being diagnosed with terminal cancer however which was extremely rough. He was diagnosed on the 16th December 2014 and faced an extremely hard battle. Unfortunately medical intervention was not viable and he passed away 3 days before I gave birth to my IT2 by induction.

3. What number pregnancy were your Irish twins? 
1 and 2 

4. Do you want any more children? 
I loved being pregnant but no more.

5. Do you think there is any stigma to having children so close in age? 
Within my community I find there is still a big stigma with having children close in age. I feel very judged at times and do get constant comments regarding how busy I kept myself post having my IT1. Prior to having my IT's I never knew that IT's even were a thing so much so that when it was mentioned I had to google what the heck they were talking about. I find that most elderly people cherish the age gap however those 20 or 30 years older than me tend to be he most judgmental

6. Would you say you're a strict or laid back parent? 
I'd like to think I'm a laid back parent but I think I have a lot of strict views too. Running a family with 4 children I need to be strict with some things otherwise my anxiety and stress levels would be out of control! However when I say strict it would relate to items of the children's own responsibilities like picking up clothes and toys and the like.

7. What piece of advice would you give someone who is expecting their youngest Irish twin? 
My advice to someone who is expecting IT's is to have absolutely no expectation whatsoever.
Do not try and plan how your going to deal with having IT's, and definitely don't aim too high. Most of the time you will find yourself taking each hour by hour especially in the early days. Do not be afraid to ask for help or accept offers of help. You'll need it and it'll keep you sane. Most importantly remember that you still need to be you so make sure you take time to yourself and do not feel guilty about it whatsoever!

8. Have you ever had any rude comments from a family member or friend? If so, what? 
When finding out about my pregnancy with IT2 my husband was going through some pretty rough times with substance issues and mental health issues. I did get a lot of comments from friends mostly questioning whether I was happy about the pregnancy and whether I would be keeping the baby. A few others didn't say all that much, it was mostly just the tone that I picked up on.

9. Have you ever had any rude comments from a stranger? If so, what? 
I haven't had too many people actually make rude comments to me from the general public. I do get a lot of looks and glares from people. Now that my IT's are a little older they do look more like twins now size wise so the looks and comments have subsided.

10. Have you ever had any nice comments from a stranger? If so, what? 
It is amazing how many people you meet who have either had IT's or know of IT's once you venture out with your IT's! Of late most he comments have been encouraging ones. They sympathise with how difficult it is at the age my girls are now and reassure me that it is definitely so worth it and it does get easier.

11. Would you say the close age gap was easier or harder than a bigger age gap? 
When I met my husband his children were 3 and 5 so that age gap is all I've really known and honestly I think those ages are when things get a heck of a lot easier... I often think whether I've made a mistake and disadvantaged my children by having them so close but I quickly dismiss it because this is the life I've been dealt and have to go with the flow. In saying that I often think it would be easier to have a bit more of an age gap

12. Any final advice? 
It's a scary thing and has to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I find that I have to work more than I ever have to keep my relationship with my husband healthy because we get so limited opportunities for us nowadays and he is the only one who really knows what it's like to live with IT's 24:7... Be kind to yourself, don't expect too much of yourself and just ask for help

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