Friday 10 January 2020

Getting The Adult Kids Motivated To Move House

There are many people out there who grow up and move out of their parent’s houses, but there are some adults who fly the nest only to come back. Like a boomerang. Some adults get divorced, some get laid off, some find themselves unable to afford their expenses. Their parent’s house is the refuge that they know they can always return to and so they do.

The problem is that parents get used to the house being back to their own again. They get used to being able to relaunch their own lives. No parent wants to live like a roommate to their child, and the kindest thing that parents can do (after caring and nurturing for a time or two), is to help motivate their adult kids out of the nest once more.

So, if you’re looking for a way to give them their wings back, here are some tips for gently nudging them back into flight once more.

Brown Bird Flying Towards Birdhouse

Image Source

  1. Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with a little nurturing. Your child is still your child, even when they’re in their 30s. So, when they’re hurting, give them a safe place to lick their wounds. Let them heal and feel, but do it with certain rules in place. 

  2. The first rule is to make sure that your adult kid has a job. Their stuff from their other home may all be in personal storage right now, but they need to work toward getting a new house, and that takes money. Money comes from hard work. Don’t let your child live in your home without a game plan in place. A job ensures their decamping to your home is temporary.

  3. The next is to ensure that they are paying their way. You may let them move back for a while, but they need to contribute: especially as they are now using water, food and heat. You don't have to need their money, so just set it aside and give it back when they move back out again.

  4. They’ll also need to contribute their time in helping around the house. You don't have someone living in your home who doesn't do their bit; this is so important. Make it clear your expectations from the get-go and you’re going to be able to live harmoniously for the time they’re back with you.

It’s so important that you remember that your adult child probably wants to move back into your home less than you’d like them there. Their pride is hurt, their things are in storage and their tail is tucked between their legs. As a parent, you have to be equal parts home comfort and biting reality at the same time. Love them, hold them, heal them - then let them go again. Just make it very clear that you plan to let them go. Motivating your adult child to move back out again is going to be difficult when your child is sad, but it’s a must and you should consider how your bond will be forever cemented when you let them in and back out again.

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