Wednesday 2 March 2016

Struggling with gender disappointment

My previous pregnancies have been nothing like this one, which convinced me that my growing bump contained a little boy.
That wasn't the case when it came to our anomaly scan!

They say girls take your beauty, boys make you bloom.
They say girls give you sickness, boys don't.
They say you carry on your front for a girl and around the sides for a boy.

All of these pointed in the direction of boy for me. All of these told me girl for my previous two.

Unfortunately, I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't want a boy. I would also be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed when they told me my little baby was another girl.
As much as she was a beautiful, healthy baby girl this still shattered me!

You see, my partner and myself have both agreed this will be our last baby. That means that I'll never have a son. That means I'll only ever have daughters.

After searching the Internet, I found out this wasn't an uncommon feeling. Gender disappointment was very much real, very common but also not very talked about. I didn't feel as ashamed at this feeling. I didn't feel as alone with it.

After talking it through with my partner, I have come to accept that 3 daughters will be a blessing! Especially with their close age gaps!
I can only imagine how hard it'll be when they hit teenage years and there's hormones flying around the house left, right and centre. Even so, I can also imagine the closeness they'll have; the bond they'll share between them.

And that thought is what will keep me going through all the tough times ahead.

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