Friday, 10 January 2020

Getting The Adult Kids Motivated To Move House

There are many people out there who grow up and move out of their parent’s houses, but there are some adults who fly the nest only to come back. Like a boomerang. Some adults get divorced, some get laid off, some find themselves unable to afford their expenses. Their parent’s house is the refuge that they know they can always return to and so they do.


The problem is that parents get used to the house being back to their own again. They get used to being able to relaunch their own lives. No parent wants to live like a roommate to their child, and the kindest thing that parents can do (after caring and nurturing for a time or two), is to help motivate their adult kids out of the nest once more.


So, if you’re looking for a way to give them their wings back, here are some tips for gently nudging them back into flight once more.

Brown Bird Flying Towards Birdhouse

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  1. Firstly, there’s nothing wrong with a little nurturing. Your child is still your child, even when they’re in their 30s. So, when they’re hurting, give them a safe place to lick their wounds. Let them heal and feel, but do it with certain rules in place. 

  2. The first rule is to make sure that your adult kid has a job. Their stuff from their other home may all be in personal storage right now, but they need to work toward getting a new house, and that takes money. Money comes from hard work. Don’t let your child live in your home without a game plan in place. A job ensures their decamping to your home is temporary.

  3. The next is to ensure that they are paying their way. You may let them move back for a while, but they need to contribute: especially as they are now using water, food and heat. You don't have to need their money, so just set it aside and give it back when they move back out again.

  4. They’ll also need to contribute their time in helping around the house. You don't have someone living in your home who doesn't do their bit; this is so important. Make it clear your expectations from the get-go and you’re going to be able to live harmoniously for the time they’re back with you.


It’s so important that you remember that your adult child probably wants to move back into your home less than you’d like them there. Their pride is hurt, their things are in storage and their tail is tucked between their legs. As a parent, you have to be equal parts home comfort and biting reality at the same time. Love them, hold them, heal them - then let them go again. Just make it very clear that you plan to let them go. Motivating your adult child to move back out again is going to be difficult when your child is sad, but it’s a must and you should consider how your bond will be forever cemented when you let them in and back out again.

Tuesday, 29 October 2019

Is Your Child Ready For A Puppy?

Have the kids started asking you to get them a puppy? A dog is a big responsibility, and it can be hard to know if your children are ready for a puppy. If you time it right, looking after a dog can be good for your child’s health and responsibility, but get the timing wrong, and you’ll be stuck caring for the dog when your children have lost interest. 


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If you’re going to buy a family dog, you need to be confident that they can be responsible enough to take care of the dogs’ needs and that they can interact with it safely. There are some good signs to look out for. 


They’ve Put In The Research

Dog ownership isn’t always easy. You want to know that the children are aware of the responsibilities involved and aren’t just thinking about how cute puppies are. If they’ve looked into all the things the dog will need, this is a good sign that they’re thinking seriously about dog ownership. Have they done some research about different breeds and thought about which might suit the family best? Do they know where there are local breeders or rescues? Have they looked into the best food, beds, toys and dog bowls


They Know How To Behave Around Dogs

Do you have friends and family who have dogs? Take the kids to visit and see how they behave with the dog. Do they know to safely introduce themselves by offering up their hand to sniff? Do they leave the dog alone and wait for it to approach them or are they annoying the dog, trying to make it play? 


If you’re going to have a dog in the house, the children need to know how to interact with it safely and nicely. Dogs are animals and can be unpredictable, and may react aggressively if the children are hassling it and not behaving in a safe way. Make sure they know how to behave with a dog before you bring one home. 


Are They Responsible?

Depending on the age of the children, they’re going to have different responsibilities for the puppy, such as feeding, walking and cleaning up after it. You don’t want to get stuck having to do it all yourself when the kids are bored after a week. 


Do the kids have chores at home already? If they’re good at getting through their chores without complaining and are helpful around the house, this is a great sign that they’ll be responsible enough to take over at least part of caring for the dog. Depending on the age of the child, there will be something they can do to help look after the dog, whether it’s refilling water bowls or taking them out for a walk. 


Are You Willing To Help?

No matter how responsible your kids are, they will need help caring for the dog. Studies should still come first, meaning you might need to take over walks during exam season. If nothing else, you’ll need to be prepared to help with any vet’s bills. 

Friday, 18 October 2019

How To Thrive During Your First Year at University

Is there a more exciting time, or a more daunting time than going to university for the first time? For the vast majority of people, it’s their first time living away from their parents, and the first time that they’ve been thrown into an environment where they don’t understand how everything (or anything) works. While people are understandably nervous about leaving home to attend university, this should be nervous excitement. This is a period of your life that can and should be a great experience! Below, we take a look at some tried and tested tips that’ll help you to thrive during your first year. 


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Bring the Enthusiasm


You can get oh so far in life just by being enthusiastic. Really! It works in the job market, social environments, and especially at university. You’re going to be out of your comfort zone, sure, but there are two ways you can respond to that -- you can curl up in a ball and wish you were at home, or you can say “well, I’m here now, let’s see what this experience brings!” You’ll only spend a brief period of your life at university, and there’s really no other place like it, so bring the positive side of your personality, and see what happens.


Get the Right Living Arrangements


While there’s a lot of potential for having an outstanding time at university, it’s true that experiences can vary wildly. Some people love it, other people have doubts. One of the main factors when it comes to how much a person enjoys it is their living arrangements. If you live in a place you love, you’ll find it easier to thrive. If you live somewhere you hate, it’ll be an uphill battle. Fortunately, this is something that you can control. Look for a student accommodation studio options before you begin, and get off on the right foot. It’s important to remember that you don’t need to stay in a space that you don’t like, though -- there’ll be a period where you’re able to change. 


Find Your Clan


University is about education, sure, but it’s also -- or mostly? -- about the people that you spend time with. If you have a solid group of friends during your university years, then you’ll have an awesome time. Of course, you’ll have to find them first. Most people attend university without any of their old friends in tow, so it’ll be up to you to get out there and socialise. You’re not going to be friends with everyone, so you might have to go through a bit of a trial and error period before you find your group. But if you put yourself in the right circles (for example: joining clubs relating to your interests), then eventually you’ll find them. 


Push Yourself 


One of the best things about university is that it provides so many opportunities to try new things. You’ll find that there are clubs for everything, and that you also meet people who are radically different from you, and can thus expose you to new interests. While it is uncomfortable to step out of your comfort zone, it’s rare that a person ends up regretting it. So throw yourself into this side of university life. You don’t have to do something new every single day; it’s just about avoiding doing the same old things you’ve always done. Who knows, you might just stumble upon a new passion.


Work Hard 


Oh, look at that -- we’ve made it nearly all the way through an article about university, and we haven’t even mentioned the educational aspect yet. Seriously: work hard. There are many people who, intoxicated by the freedom that university brings, end up making a mess of their studies. They will have had a good time, but it won’t be worth it -- it’s just not enjoyable getting terrible results. Have a social life, enjoy the time, but nail the work that you’re set. It’ll be your platform to achieve even greater things in your second and third years.


Stay in Touch With Home


Finally, remember to keep in touch with home, even when you’re having an awesome time. The folks and your siblings and your friends miss you! You can give them calls or video calls, and pay a visit when you can. Nobody wants to be that person who went to university and forgot where they came from!


With the above tips, you’ll be on your way to having an excellent first year -- indeed, an excellent three years -- at university! 



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